this is what I feel…
Saturday, June 30th, 2007it’s the second day.. and I still feel so empty inside.. I managed to get my head up, I laugh with the family members, I try to enjoy the day.. but still.. everthing reminds me of him.. every single bite, single step.. it’s not easy to let the passed year go just like that.. it’s not easy to mend the hurt I feel.. I tried so hard to make it worked.. I tried to make it comfortable for both sides.. but he went away anyway.. to fulfill his dreams.. the dreams not including me in it.. the dreams I blocked him from, he said.. did I? did I really do that? wasn’t I being supportive? or was I not supportive enough? I didn’t complain just sitting there waiting for him.. I said I’ll wait ’till he’s ready to get married if he wants to get a decent job or to go to school after graduating from ITB.. I didn’t held him back.. but why’d he leave me anyway..? didn’t he promise to stay? didn’t he promised he’ll never go? didn’t we promised each other? or.. were the promises meant nothing to him?
it really hurts.. letting him go when I was missing him so much after being away from each others for weeks.. it hurts, letting him go when I still care and love him so much.. it hurts, not being able to give him the smile I’ve always given.. it just.. hhh… so painfull..
but.. well.. I let him go.. if his happiness doesn’t include me in it, I’ll give him the happiness he’s looking for.. I believe, whatever happened, is best for us.. I let him go, because I love him.. I let him go, because I love him.. I let him go… because I love him..
thank you for the wonderful times and moments you gave me in the last 1 year, 8 months, and 2 days of my life.. thank you.. thank you.. thank you.. may you live happily ever after.. ^^